Hope for the hurting: Seminar on dealing with grief

According to the spirituality/religiosity survey completed by students last semester, a total of 870 majors participated, with a significant difference in genders.

317 males and 554 females participated, with 230 first year freshmen, 203 sophomores, 211 juniors and 227 seniors.

The top majors participating were 155 business, 130 behavioral science, 112 English, 83 science and 75 theology students.

“Oral Roberts University is a missions and outreach-oriented ministry,” said Andrea Walker, professor of psychology. “Even though this is true of our campus, what about the students right here who are in need of healing?”

Walker said that many students may go through grief of some kind, even more than we may think.

30 – 45 percent of the student body report experiencing a recent death loss within the last 2 years. Nearly all students report experiencing some type of stressful event that is challenging to them, but only 2 out of 392 students reported to having problems with their grief.

Of the most frequent type of losses for ORU students, friends were the most.

“As a student, they need to know they’re not alone,” said Keilah Rodriguez, guest student speaker. “They need to make it known and not be afraid to tell others.”

Rodriguez shared her personal experience on grief when she lost a friend to a recent and tragic car crash, receiving a call of the news while still at ORU.

“I sobbed and was in a state of shock for many days,” said Rodriguez, “but it’s a healthy thing to grieve and cry, so don’t feel like you’re losing it, because it is healing to help you get through it. Grief it something that is real, but it shouldn’t keep you down.”

Rodriguez advised that getting continued support and help from others can beneficial.

Walker explained the 5 characteristics that personalities tend to fall into:  extraversion, agreeableness, conscientiousness, neuroticism and intellect/imagination.

A chart displayed how nursing majors and behavioral sciences majors were significantly higher on agreeableness than business, mathematics and engineering majors.

Do men and women doubt differently?

Men reported on having a significant difference with how they handle stress. Walker called it the “superman” syndrome, where men may tend to hide feelings, as not to appear weak on the outside.

“It could be that discussing grief may be more culturally accepted among women than men,” said Walker.

According to the survey, out of the 833 responses, 429 reported low spiritual struggle, 89 reported medium, and 315 reported high.

Seniors reported to having more likely religious doubts than first year students.

“For every one suicide there are 100 attempts,” said Emily Tackett, student guest speaker. Tackett gave her testimony on how she supported her two friends during the dark hours of their lives during their attempts on committing suicide.

“We need to be a light at the end of the tunnel,” said Tackett. “We need to let our friends know that we have an awesome and beautiful Father that cares for them.”

So how do we deal with stress and grief at ORU?

“According to the survey, ORU students may be able to cope with grief better, or at least they’ve learned to cope with it,” said Walker. “It’s possible we are coping because we know how to, and are resilient because we have the spiritual tools to help us.”

Walker explained that grief is like a winding road.

“You take a turn and feel fine about it,” Walker said, “then you take another turn and suddenly it hits you, and you’re not feeling okay again.”

During this time of grief, Walker suggests getting continued support from friends.

An open discussion followed afterwards which allowed students to share feed- back on how the campus could improve by creating a better support group for the students.

“Giving to others is a strong component,” Walker said. “And as a student body group with an environment very much interested in restoration, we can benefit from each other.”

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This article was originally published on The Oracle, Oral Roberts University’s student new media outlet, which may be viewed here: http://oruoracle.com/news/hope-for-the-hurting-seminar-on-dealing-with-grief/